ID

[MegaRock35]

Well, it's not exactly an RP, but because it's reader driven, Forte said it's close enough. Before I start, let me explain a few things. This is a Homestuck fan fic (I'm a officially a hypocrite), and while you don't need to read Homestuck to enjoy this, there's a bit of background info necessary to understand it. As I said in the Shoutbox Thread:

...they enter a place called the Medium, where two kingdoms/planets, one light (called Prospit) and one dark (called Derse), are waging an eternal war in the form of anthropomorphic chess. They're locked in a stalemate until the kids combine ("prototype") an object with this weird energy ball (a "kernelsprite"). This results in the Black Kingdom, Derse, gaining the edge and defeating the white king.

Now then, the game works by me writing the scenario, and you all post suggestions as to what the character should do. I then choose one or more of the suggestions and write out what then happens. Example:

Me: A detective stands alone in an office...

Poster 1: ==> Detective: Get ye flask

Poster 2: ==> Detective: Ride pumpkin like a mechanical bull

Poster 3: ==> Detective: Kill yourself and end this horrid story now

Me: ==> Detective: Get ye flask
You can't get ye flask, because you don't even own a flask.

==> Detective: Ride pumpkin like a mechanical bull
What Pumpkin?

Etcetera. As a note, you can get crazy/silly/stupid or go way off the rails, despite using fairly serious/dark themes overall. In fact, I encourage it. It'll help me grow as a writer to have to adapt things I didn't anticipate. But enough talk, let the story begin.

ID
A DISGRUNTLED PRISONER sits alone in his cell. His arms are bound in a straight jacket, and his face is hidden by a damaged jester's hat. On the floor nearby lies a bloody PROSPITIAN PAWN'S UNIFORM. It is left over from the early days of the war, back before the BELOVED MONARCH acquired such a gaudy fashion sense.

The tiny cell is a mess. The walls are covered with drawings and some indecipherable writing. The drawings depict four strange people you've never seen before: a coward, a hipster, a gunman, and a little girl. On the other wall are drawings of two other guys. These two look familiar.

God, this man is pathetic. He is obviously a miserable little douche, wallowing in his own insanity. You really wish you weren't him. He's the last person you'd want to be right now.

==>
Oh, wait. You're not him. In fact, you're not even sure why you ever thought you were him in the first place.

You are MOB RELATED HITMAN straight out of a stereotypical noir film. You're dressed in the cliche TAN FEDORA AND TRENCHCOAT, and it makes you feel really badass. Oh yeah.

With your trustly logic-defying GATLING HANDGUN, you're ready to take on the world. You're mark will weep in sheer terror at the sheer improbability of your weapon. Rival gangs shall pay in blood. The CRIMINAL UNDERWORLD will come to fear the name -- wait, what is your name, anyway? (Enter name.)

[c0mp1337]

name input:
renko usami

=>renko usami: paint your fedora pink

[Forte]

==> Fucking kill MegaRock

[c0mp1337]

==>slap forte's shit

[MegaRock35]

Enter Name
Oh, that's right. You're name is Renko Usami, the self-proclaimed greatest hitman ion Skaia. You're not sure how you forgot. This is probably a bad indication of your current notability in the Underworld.

Renko: Acknowledge the fine gentleman standing next to you
Ah, yes, the SHADOWY MAFIOSO there is your client. A tall, intimidating man dressed in a black duster and a nice hat with a ridiculously wide brim. He takes a puff of his cigar, then blows the smoke into your face. He slowly lifts the photo grasped in his hand to show you your mark.

There he is, C-NOTE, the notrious drug trafficker and richest man on Skaia. He's short and thin, and probably has a NAPOLEON COMPLEX. Apparently, he's not fond of spending all his money, as he's dressed in a crumpled top hat with a slit in the side and an old, ratty suit. As is to be suspected of any high society villain, he wears a classy monocle over his left eye. This'll be a piece of cake.

Renko: Prepare for your mission
Okay, time to make sure you're set.

Gun? Check. Ammo? Check. Grenades? Check. Photo? Check. Back-up hat? Check.

Okay, you're set. Only one logical thing to do now: paint that fedora pink.

Aw yeah, you're stylin' now.

Renko: Fuckin' kill MegaRock
You decide you need to test out your gun, and might as well test it on the that guy on the other side of the computer screen.

EAT LEAD, DOUCHEBAG!

Yeah, he'll probably be out of comission for a while. Too bad it left so many damn bullet holes in the fourth wall.

Renko: Slap Forte's shit
You pull up your sleeve, then give Forte your best Bitch Slap.

That... was not your best idea.

[Forte]

==> Become Forte, whose shit has been recently slapped.

[MegaRock35]

==>Become Forte, whose shit has recently been slapped
You are now Forte. You're really pissed at this bastard Renko. He has some nerve to slap you on your forum. He must learn the true meaning of vengeance.

Forte: Make him pay
You lock the thread, freezing him in place. You then replace his beloved weapon with a HALF-EATEN BANANA. Next, you replace his trenchcoat with a little girl's PINK BARBIE RAINCOAT. That'll show 'im.

[Forte]

==> Suggest that MegaRock get his paint artistic skills on and give this thread images, then return to being that douche with the weaboo name

[c0mp1337]

==>wear kamina shades

[MegaRock35]

MegaRock: Get your paint artistic skills on and give this thread some images
Ahahahaha! MegaRock is incapable of anything that could be called art. All that spawns from his mind is steaming piles of crap.

And besides, he's laying on the floor bleeding to death from his bullet wounds. If he recovers, maybe he'll get some drawings up. Maybe.

==>Return to being that douche with the weaboo name
You are once again Renko. What's this? Your snazzy trenchcoat is gone! All you have now is this Barbie coat.

Guess that means now you're a...

Renko: Wear Kamina's shades
Badass Wrongcoat.

Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!

Renko: Now that you've got that out of the way, embark on your mission
You decide that's enough shenanigans for now, and that you should continue on your way. Besides, you've made yourself look like a dumbass in front of your client. Not the best thing for your reputation.

Your make your way out of the dark alley and into the building via a window. The Shadowy Mafioso had received a tip that a drug deal would go down on the roof of the building across the street, and that C-Note would be there in person. This is most definitely not a trap of any kind that you're blindly walking into like an idiot.

Inside the building, you find loads and loads of wooden crates lying around the floor. This must be some sort of warehouse. On the far side of the room, you spot a freight elevator. However, it is partially blocked by crates, and you don't think you'll be able to get in.

[Forte]

==> Follow Liquid into the freight elevator

==> Attempt to eat boxes

[c0mp1337]

==>equip boxes

[MegaRock35]

Renko: Attempt to eat boxes
You pounce on the boxes like a predator does his prey, then chomp down on the delicious crates.

Om nom nom nom!

Y'know, this would be a lot easier if you had fangs like the Dersites instead of these flat herbivore teeth. Or if you hadn't gotten those splinters in your tongue.

Renko: Equip boxes
Well, they're too big to hold, so instead, you dump the contents on the floor and wear it like you would a barrel. Although stylish, your box clothes aren't very practical. They're bulky, unwieldy, and covered in gun powder. You should probably stay away from any fires.

[Fenril]

==> Examine the contents of the crate you just dumped out onto the floor

[MegaRock35]

Renko: Examine the contents of the crate
Inside the crate were a custom, uzi-like automatic weapon and several attachments: a silencer; a longer barrel to achieve greater distance; a laser-sight; and a scope. This should come in handy.

Sadly, the barrel and silencer are mutually exclusive to one another; ditto the laser-sight and scope. You'll have to choose wisely.