League of Legends Help

[Death Dark]

   So, I've started League of Legends, and it's gotten me interested.  So far, I suck rather fiercely.  I've played the Tutorial, second training mission, and two 5v5 vs AI matches.  In both the 5v5 matches, I died the most (10 and then 15), but did pretty well in the second match despite my constant dying.  (Note that the constant dying is part of a berserker type approach, and is rather to be expected)

   The tutorial had me playing Ashe.  I assume that's the only "choice."  The training mission I first tried with purple Kratos Ryze.  I had fun shooting shit, but in the end, he couldn't stand up to what I wanted him to do.

   So, I quit that and tried again with Garen.  That was fun.  His moves were kind of eh, but the sheer amounts of health and recovery I was able to give him made life entertaining.

   First "real" match, I decided to make a poor decision and try Katarina.  I did absolutely horribly.  She didn't have enough health, and I wasn't able to get her to have enough damage output to work.  We lost that, though thankfully not just from me.

   My second match was with the crystal scorpion guy.  I can't seem to find him on the LoL website.  I noticed about 15 minutes in that I was horribly under-leveled compared to the group.  It wasn't until about level 15 that I was above and below my teammates in terms of levels, but the enemies were still higher.  I got his abilities under control, but I never felt like I could put out the damage that my enemies were.

   So, my questions are these:

1 - What characters would you recommend?  In WoW, I played a Fury Warrior.
2 - What should I do to level faster?  Fight the enemies in the bushes?
3 - Why do the computer opponents seem significantly more powerful than my allies?

[lern]

   So, I've started League of Legends, and it's gotten me interested.  So far, I suck rather fiercely.  I've played the Tutorial, second training mission, and two 5v5 vs AI matches.  In both the 5v5 matches, I died the most (10 and then 15), but did pretty well in the second match despite my constant dying.  (Note that the constant dying is part of a berserker type approach, and is rather to be expected)

   The tutorial had me playing Ashe.  I assume that's the only "choice."  The training mission I first tried with purple Kratos Ryze.  I had fun shooting shit, but in the end, he couldn't stand up to what I wanted him to do.

   So, I quit that and tried again with Garen.  That was fun.  His moves were kind of eh, but the sheer amounts of health and recovery I was able to give him made life entertaining.

   First "real" match, I decided to make a poor decision and try Katarina.  I did absolutely horribly.  She didn't have enough health, and I wasn't able to get her to have enough damage output to work.  We lost that, though thankfully not just from me.

   My second match was with the crystal scorpion guy.  I can't seem to find him on the LoL website.  I noticed about 15 minutes in that I was horribly under-leveled compared to the group.  It wasn't until about level 15 that I was above and below my teammates in terms of levels, but the enemies were still higher.  I got his abilities under control, but I never felt like I could put out the damage that my enemies were.

   So, my questions are these:

1 - What characters would you recommend?  In WoW, I played a Fury Warrior.
2 - What should I do to level faster?  Fight the enemies in the bushes?
3 - Why do the computer opponents seem significantly more powerful than my allies?

Hmm. You've made some rather terrible character choices, aswell as judging them pretty horribly.

1. Ryze sucks. Unless he's fed. In middle. This means you have to play against a team of real people which, fortunately for you, have one player which sucks, in the middle. No matter how much mana and ap you build, the only efficient thing ryze has is his snare.
2. Garen is to be played patiently. Go fucking agro on bitches till you're at 30% hp and then stand behind your ranks for the passive, but don't go into the bush or they'll try to squat your passive.
3. Katarina seems the weirdest champion ever. I have yet to see anyone below a certain level play her well- including me. Then at a certain point, no one sucks with her any more. You will one day learn to fear that killer instinct/shunpo/death lotus combo, because shunpo's burst combines perfectly with spell vamp and death lotus is an incredible teamfight spell or, rather, a spell perfect whenever katarina fights more than one person, no matter how many people help her.
4. Skarner is a horrible champion before you're level 21. Especially before the graves patch. When they introduce grave, they're gonna buff him too. I, for one, never actually played a good skarner unless I jungled, because that way I'm pretty stable during my farming stages. The only incredibly good spell he has is his ultimate, and that works best as a jungler, and that works good only at level 21 for most champions.

1- Olaf (A literal berserker type character which is stronger the more max health you are but the lower % you are on of it), Garen(A very aggressive off tank which can replenish health at an awesome rate), Tryndamere(He, too, uses rage like warriors, and the higher his rage the higher his crit chance), Renekton (Another rage user, although this one uses his rage for stronger spells rather than crit chance), Sion(Another off tank which focuses on brute force by using a skill which grants him up to 60 attack at the price of a bit of health with every swing. He's also a stunner and has a bitchload of life steal), Wukong(An excellent rogue, not in the WoW terms of it, but in the literal deffinition; he's a good solo character which is great at both escaping and engaging and fighting. You want to build him 50% off tank and 50% fighter. By that I mean that every tanky item you buy must have at least ONE offensive stat, or even utility. Such as: Frozen mallet, Force of nature, Trinity edge, etc. The only downside to wukong is him being complicated if played properly, but once I've mastered him, I literally never lost a game with him until recently twice. His passive increases his defense the more enemies are nearby) somewhat, and irelia (An excellent assassin fighter which replenishes health with some of her attacks and disabler-related with the rest. Her passive reduces their duration the more enemies are nearby)
2- No. You get exp for every minion kill nearby. You get 1.5x the exp when you execute the minion, recieving the gold too. You get double exp whenever you kill a minion alone, with the gold. Your exp is halved if there is any ally within range of the minions; Each of you recieves half the points, but neither recieves gold (Unless one of you executes/kills it alone, in which case the finisher recieves gold). At later levels of the game you will discover jungling for champions like Warwick, Skarner, Nunu, Olaf, and some others. Even tryndamere.
3- Because, tbh, only noobs fight against computers. Seriously. Unless you're testing a new champ, even as a new player, PvC sucks. At level 1 you're gonna have to play against low level players, so auto-matchmaking does that for you. Just hope your new team doesn't fuck up.

Suggestions from the rotation:
Nasus, Yi, Jarvan
For nasus you'll want your q and to last hit with it a lot.
For Yi you'll want a single level of meditate, just so you don't have to retreat whenever you're low on health.
For Jarvan you'll want to go Off tank DPS, not very much fury warrior, but none of todays rotation are so much of it anyways.

Additional champion suggestions: If you insist on reccomended, which, generally, are terrible champions imo,  then go to your profile and go to the champion list. Hit reccomended. The entire first line, excluding Annie (Awesome when you've got full runes) ryze and sivir (NEVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. PLAY SIVIR), and warwick, are somewhat powerful champions. By your current choices, you seemed to dislike the mage characters, Although some of them are fun or good, I won't bother listing any for you unless you'd like to try them afterall. If you want other suggestions, tell me what class and I'll tell you.

[Death Dark]

Hmm. You've made some rather terrible character choices, aswell as judging them pretty horribly.

I didn't judge any of them; I gave my opinions after playing them.

but don't go into the bush or they'll try to squat your passive.

Wut?

4. Skarner is a horrible champion before you're level 21. Especially before the graves patch. When they introduce grave, they're gonna buff him too. I, for one, never actually played a good skarner unless I jungled, because that way I'm pretty stable during my farming stages. The only incredibly good spell he has is his ultimate, and that works best as a jungler, and that works good only at level 21 for most champions.

His W allows for nice attack speed buffs, and Q spam is great for minions.  His ultimate led me to 4 kills that match (still my highest).

2- No. You get exp for every minion kill nearby. You get 1.5x the exp when you execute the minion, recieving the gold too. You get double exp whenever you kill a minion alone, with the gold. Your exp is halved if there is any ally within range of the minions; Each of you recieves half the points, but neither recieves gold (Unless one of you executes/kills it alone, in which case the finisher recieves gold). At later levels of the game you will discover jungling for champions like Warwick, Skarner, Nunu, Olaf, and some others. Even tryndamere.

The fuck is "jungling?"

3- Because, tbh, only noobs fight against computers. Seriously. Unless you're testing a new champ, even as a new player, PvC sucks. At level 1 you're gonna have to play against low level players, so auto-matchmaking does that for you. Just hope your new team doesn't fuck up.

That doesn't answer the question.

Suggestions from the rotation:
Nasus, Yi, Jarvan

I did try Jarvan, and I like him.  I played him twice in PVC and once in PVP.  Died 5 times in each PVC, but we lost the PVC (again, not just my fault).

I also tried Kayle.  She's pretty awesome with the flaming sword and all, but I was hoping to get the Judgment skin for her, since the people who run LoL don't bother leaving specialty skins off the fucking list so that people won't get drawn into the character thinking they could actually make it look cool.  I died a lot more with her, as Jarvan has that W that slows enemies, which was useful in escapes, but late game the flaming sword with the right equipment just tears up structures.

I notice that the damage output of NPCs like Annie, Miss Fortune (retarded name), and Cho'Gath seem to be disproportionately high compared to my own champions.  How is that?  Are they (creators of LoL) just too absent-minded to remember that stats need to be balanced for a reason?

[lern]

Hmm. You've made some rather terrible character choices, aswell as judging them pretty horribly.

I didn't judge any of them; I gave my opinions after playing them.

True. Not the point.

but don't go into the bush or they'll try to squat your passive.

Wut?

The bush make you invisible, right? Your passive grants you uber regeneration, and enemies won't want you to have that. So when they see you in a bush, they'll want to land even a single hit, if only to burn it out.

4. Skarner is a horrible champion before you're level 21. Especially before the graves patch. When they introduce grave, they're gonna buff him too. I, for one, never actually played a good skarner unless I jungled, because that way I'm pretty stable during my farming stages. The only incredibly good spell he has is his ultimate, and that works best as a jungler, and that works good only at level 21 for most champions.

His W allows for nice attack speed buffs, and Q spam is great for minions.  His ultimate led me to 4 kills that match (still my highest).

You want to save W for turret dives, 1v1 battles, ganks, and the ulti. It's great to leave lane occassionally, hide in another lane's bush and hit w/q on an enemy. Bound to earn you some credit.

2- No. You get exp for every minion kill nearby. You get 1.5x the exp when you execute the minion, recieving the gold too. You get double exp whenever you kill a minion alone, with the gold. Your exp is halved if there is any ally within range of the minions; Each of you recieves half the points, but neither recieves gold (Unless one of you executes/kills it alone, in which case the finisher recieves gold). At later levels of the game you will discover jungling for champions like Warwick, Skarner, Nunu, Olaf, and some others. Even tryndamere.

The fuck is "jungling?"

A tactic which leaves the team at 1(+1)/1/2, where the top player is alone and the fifth player goes jungling. What this means is that he lives off of neutral monster kills rather than a passive exp flood from minion waves and champion kills. If both teams are equally skilled or skilled at some rate, the jungler should finish killing neutral monsters before FB, in which case the solo player had earned much more exp than the opposing two champions, and so did the jungler, leaving 2 high level characters against 2 mid levels, so that when the jungler comes to visit, they gank them and obliterate them, after which the jungler returns to the jungles so no one can expect him. Ranked games are generally consisted of a Mid Mage Carry, a Tank, A jungler, a hybrid or AD carry, a Support, Assassin or Fighter and a Jungler- Which is almost always a fighter, OR a tank. Don't even try jungling until later levels such as summoner level 21. If you ever see someone with smite and only one person in your lane from the enemy team, do not stay near the middle of the lane. They also survive off of the Sigils, you know, the blue/red/purple crests which buff people up heavily? Warding those on either sides is handy and stealing any of the 4 sigils is a great punishment for junglers.

3- Because, tbh, only noobs fight against computers. Seriously. Unless you're testing a new champ, even as a new player, PvC sucks. At level 1 you're gonna have to play against low level players, so auto-matchmaking does that for you. Just hope your new team doesn't fuck up.

That doesn't answer the question.

It gives you my opinion of your question though.

Suggestions from the rotation:
Nasus, Yi, Jarvan

I did try Jarvan, and I like him.  I played him twice in PVC and once in PVP.  Died 5 times in each PVC, but we lost the PVC (again, not just my fault).

I also tried Kayle.  She's pretty awesome with the flaming sword and all, but I was hoping to get the Judgment skin for her, since the people who run LoL don't bother leaving specialty skins off the fucking list so that people won't get drawn into the character thinking they could actually make it look cool.  I died a lot more with her, as Jarvan has that W that slows enemies, which was useful in escapes, but late game the flaming sword with the right equipment just tears up structures.

I notice that the damage output of NPCs like Annie, Miss Fortune (retarded name), and Cho'Gath seem to be disproportionately high compared to my own champions.  How is that?  Are they (creators of LoL) just too absent-minded to remember that stats need to be balanced for a reason?

Annie, MF and Cho aren't NPCs, they can be played. Their AI is just great with them. However, none of these characters are EVER considered overpowered, I'll talk about that later though. For now I'll explain why you fear them so much;

Cho'gath's passive replenishes up to 60 health per kill, minion or otherwise, and 15 mana. Another skill he has adds up to 80 damage for the spikes that travel beyond his attacks, with more for every 3 ap he has. His ultimate deals a massive chunk of true damage- damage which cannot be reduced in ANY way. This is feared because of its potential for execution and it giving a passive health buff of up to 150, with up to 6 stacks of this buff, giving him a MAJOR health boost from it and an awesome executionatory move.

Annie's spells are not only mighty but also have her passive on their side which stun you every 5 spells. Her bear tibbers substitutes as a guardian for her fragile form. If ever you decide to become a jungler, smite will be the bane of tibbers.

MF is just a ranged AD carry, which is feared far and wide by most other classes. At one point the fear'll stop, so don't worry. The only thing to fear about her is her early game, being imobilised within her ulti's range and finally, her being fed.

None of these guys are truly overpowered once you get to know them, so don't worry. The game is considerably very balanced, it's current only problems are several high-level champions, top-tier champions and the new Dominion map. Stop playing PVC, the only way to improve is PVP.

[Death Dark]

I'm improving in PVC, primarily learning my champion.

I did jungle a bit with Garen (at level 1, of course).  I'll probably buy him today and try him out.

[Clockwork Pyrite]

www.mobafire.com

This site is your resource for "builds," or guides on what items to buy, tactics, etc. for certain champions.

[lern]

www.mobafire.com

This site is your resource for "builds," or guides on what items to buy, tactics, etc. for certain champions.

whilst most people like this, I dislike guides and whatever. I think people should build their own builds and strategies, although I can't denie using an olaf guide once just to see how I was doing, only to discover that my only problem is a single wrong point early on and just bad timing with jungling.

[Hobro]

What's with all the Junglelaf's lately?

Why not just go Jungle Xin Zhao or Jungle Lee Sin?

[lern]

What's with all the Junglelaf's lately?

Why not just go Jungle Xin Zhao or Jungle Lee Sin?

Because junglelaf is actually any good, him having his passive increase his ap a ridiculous ammount whenever he's low on hp and his w giving him ridiculous life steal/attack damage, and additionally an aoe skillshot with ridiculously low cooldown when properly used, unlike junxin being good only for 1 wave of jungling, him not being made out for it that well and needing to engage more than farm, and junglee is a shit champ overall so it doesn't matter what he does, although I DID see some junglees.

[Clockwork Pyrite]

What's with all the Junglelaf's lately?

Why not just go Jungle Xin Zhao or Jungle Lee Sin?

Because junglelaf is actually any good

You'd best not be shittin' on Free Win.

[lern]

I ain't thats why I go junglelaf

new jungler

Jollybear, see what i did tharr

[Hobro]

What did I just attempt to read?

[lern]

What did I just attempt to read?

Jolly bear, a happy go lucky motherfucker which appears to be the weak-as-shit descendent of ursa from DotA and yet not be weak-as-shit because he's lost the op shit from ursa and gained his own op shit

singed+christian bear=HO HO HO HO OH FUCK