Samus Needs a New Job Title

[Sepuku.exe]

Samus Aran is a mass murderer, not a bounty hunter. Bounty hunters capture escaped convicts and bail jumpers, and they capture them alive. When Samus Aran sets foot on an alien planet, you best believe that by the time she’s done nothing will ever walk or crawl on that world again. Samus isn’t a bounty hunter, and she isn’t even a hitman; she’s a walking genocide machine.

She’ll kill half the population of your planet, then leave for a few hours, then come back with a new weapon upgrade and kill the other half of your planet so she can get still another new ability. The woman is a fantastic large-scale killer, but she doesn’t exhibit any of the restraint or subtlety that one would ascribe to the best bounty hunters.

I don’t wish to argue that Samus isn’t doing the right thing by wiping out Metroids and Space Pirates, of course; someone’s gotta get rid of them, and it might as well by the hot chick in the robot suit who can morph into a fist-sized sphere at the drop of a hat. Fine. But that doesn’t make her a bounty hunter.

Samus sure as hell knows how to backtrack and solve environmental puzzles, but does she know the difficulty of tracking a single target across twelve states? Has she ever experienced the difficulty of bringing in an armed, intoxicated felon without killing him? How many bounties has she successfully brought in? Which bail bondsman does she contract from? I highly doubt Samus could answer these questions.

From BSPCN.com

[Hobro]

I'm sure bounty hunter sounds a lot better to moms than genocidal machine. It's a marketing ploy.

[Death Dark]

Death Dark's a bounty hunter, and he has yet to bring a bad guy back alive.

[Forte]

I love when people write large paragraphs about something. It further shows that they have no idea what they're talking about. It's well written and funny, though.

[blackhook]

But it got a point

[Death Dark]

If we look at the original job of the bounty hunter, it was someone who's hunting a bounty.  A bounty is put "on the head of" someone, and they're hunted down.  Sometimes dead or alive doesn't matter, but other times, they want the person alive, so they place a larger bounty on alive.  This originated in the "Wild West" when bandits were rampant and the law enforcement couldn't do it all.  People would find wanted posters, find the guys on them, and turn them or their severed heads in for money.